The trust fall ….. The dreaded trust fall. See I was never very good at the trust fall. I never trusted anyone to actually catch me. So I would start to fall backward but would quickly take a step back to prevent myself from falling – I didn’t like feeling that vulnerable.
I had to learn how to do the trust fall in relationships and love.
Falling in love taught me that it is ok to be vulnerable. It taught me that taking that step, that leap of faith, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable can bring you happiness you never imagined.
I have only met one person in my life who made me feel that way and who made me feel completely safe in my vulnerability. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to be vulnerable yet safe. When that feeling is broken, when you have been dropped, it can be incredibly hard to recover from but repairing that trust can bring about the most rewarding results.
In a relationship it isn’t quite the same as the traditional trust fall because if one person doesn’t catch the other, they both fall. That’s the hard part – being vulnerable together and knowing if you hurt the other you both suffer.
Someone recently asked me how I forgive when that trust has been broken. That’s such a loaded and complicated question and one I could never find a simple answer for. One thing I have learned about forgiveness is that it requires you to be vulnerable again. When we don’t forgive, we close the doors and stay locked up like a vault because we don’t want to be hurt again. While that is such a normal and reasonable reaction, it also prevents us from experiencing the joy and peace of love.
When you try to not be vulnerable you take that small step backward to prevent yourself from falling, you try to ground yourself and depend on only yourself. What you miss by doing this is the support of the person there to catch you, the support you can only get by letting go and falling into their arms, trusting they will be there to catch you.
Love requires us to be vulnerable and trust the other person. It is that vulnerability that makes love so special and unique. I have made decisions to forgive and trust people in my life who have hurt me and I have found that doing so and being vulnerable again is amazing and freeing.
I am so thankful to this day that I had someone in my life who taught me how to feel secure and vulnerable at the same time, because although I was vulnerable, I was on top of the world because we were vulnerable together and in it together.
Although the trust has been broken before and we have each missed catching the other, rebuilding that trust brought a greater strength to the relationship than before. It required a decision to forgive and trust and be vulnerable and a promise to do better, to be better, and to learn how to catch each other better in the future.
It sure is terrifying to feel like you are losing that control as you fall back, but it is also worth it.
There is nothing in the world like being vulnerable as you are falling but falling right into the arms of the one you love and being safe and home again.